news

June 28, 2003

Man, the good stuff was on today. Can't Hardly Wait and She's All That. I think I got the equation. Begin with apostrophe word, three word phrase, and end with four-letter-word. Joe's Nearly Rock will be a commercial goldmine.

June 27, 2003

Con-Air was on again. I forget about all the Jonze connections in that. Cusack, Malkovich, Cage, and I'm he'll make something with Buscemi in it eventually. Dead Like Me is strange. The direction was horrible, barely surpassing the acting, and the writing was cliche and stupid. But somehow it was entertaining. I'd recommend it, but not any of the people behind it.

June 26, 2003

I did nothing today, but felt obligated to post.

June 25, 2003

Apparently a movie is being made starring Chistopher Walken and Jack Black. That sounds good. Yeah. Glenn Humplick beat the shit out of Andy Dick on the Tom Green Show this morning. Battle Royale was suddenly on a television in a cubicle at work. Other people at my workplace have heard of Battle Royale and seen it. I am astonished.

June 24, 2003

No Road Warrior today. Just didn't feel like doing anything. Tonight's Tom Green was really fricken funny. Andy Dick kept attacking Glenn, but Glenn beat the shit out of him. Three of the people on the show had done voices from Clone High. Andy Dick as a teacher and a cop and Thomas Edison, and Tom Green and Marilyn Manson as themselves. But they made no mention of the show. Oh well. Watched that interview between Weird Al and Eminem on AlTV again. It was high-larious. Hoobity doo.

June 23, 2003

Mad Max is better than I remember it. Watchin' Road Warrior tomorrow. The New Tom Green Show started tonight. Not bad. Not bad at all. It was funny because Ludacris was thinking to himself, "I'm gonna be on the Tom Green Show. Tom Green is crazy. I have to do something crazy! I've got it! I'll stand on his desk when I first come out. That would be downright unexpected. Take that conventional talk show world." Also... caught Doggie Fizzle's first episode. That's a pretty funny show. I didn't realize Snoop was as mentally present as he appears to be on that show.

June 22, 2003

Caught the end of Very Bad Things on Comedy Central again. That movie has such a great ending. Rented Mad Max and Road Warrior for potential viewing tomorrow night. Alas Beyond Thunderdome was nowhere to be found. I'll get those pictures up here tomorrow. I uploaded them today. They are currently visable on my other site but will be in my photos section of this site soon. My other site is here. Tis all para hoy.

June 21, 2003

Santa Monica. Arthur. Pictures soon. Tomorrow perhaps. Writing letters to talk show hosts because if Arthur doesn't get enough signatures on his petition by Friday, he will be out of work for four months. If you live anywhere nearby, go check him out.

June 20, 2003

Check this out... Jim Cummings is the man. He's also known as the voices of...

Afterburner and Rippersnapper from Transformers,
Leatherhead and Shredder from Ninja Turtles,
Tigger and Winnie the Pooh,
Monterey Jack and Fat Cat from Rescue Rangers,
Don Karnage and Louie from Tale Spin,
Sly Sludge from Captain Planet,
Tazmanian Devil from Taz-Mania,
Darkwing Duck,
Lurch from the Addams Family,
Bonkers and Lucky from Bonkers,
Dr. Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog,
Psy-Crow and Bob, the Killer Goldfish, from Earthworm Jim,
Sumo Santa and Bad Mister Frosty from Clayfighter,
Fuzzy Lumpkins from Powerpuff girls,
and Cat from CatDog,

June 19, 2003

Holy crap. Takeshi Kitano from Battle Royale is the guy on the Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. That is awesome. By the way, I had mentioned earlier that TNN was now Spike tv and I was wrong. Spike Lee, frightened that his lack of recent films would have him soon forgotten, decided to toss his name into the headlines by sueing TNN. Ummmm... that's just sad. C'mon I mean seriously. How much do you think I could get if I legally change my name to NBC? After watching Full Metal Jacket today, and having watched Strangelove Monday, I realized where Speilberg got his directorial influence in Saving Private Ryan. It is a good style.

June 18, 2003

Watched Fear and Loathing and Battle Royale... or almost did. Ended up watching the episode of South Park that parodies Better Off Dead. Starring Stan Marsh... or should I say... DARSH! Marsh the Darsh. It was funny stuff. I was thinking about it. Since Eric Estrada does a voice for Sealab, we would need a semi-famous person to voice one of the turtles for our new show. Then it hit me, like a bolt of lightning, Corey Felman. He did the voice of Donetello for the first movie, and I'm sure he would enjoy reprising the role. The Tom Green show is back as of Monday midnight next week. That'll be good. Here is my NBC dream lineup. Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, The Late Show with Jon Stewart, The Late Late Show with Tom Green,... and Last Call with Patrick O'Riley. Isn't that what the people want?

June 17, 2003

Yeah... the Busey show isn't quite as funny as I thought it would be. Basically, Gary Busey is the Anna Nicole Smith that can kill me with his hands. The other guy was funnier than Busey was. In public, Busey comments just leave everything feeling very akward. I'm gonna apply to the next Real World. Well, not the next one, because they already have the group. But the next one. Yeah. I actually think I understand 2001 a little better after having watched it today. The monolith is undefined. I mean it equals undefined. Bowman's rotation goes from a death bed, to the monolith, to birth. In between death and life is an unknown. It is the undefined. Human eyes cannot compute undefined and their attempts to do so result in psychadelic rays of multicolor madness. By encountering undefined, Bowman has now been made aware of it. He can step outside of where we are. If that makes any sense. Which I am certain it does not. This 28 Days Later thing looks pretty neat. Refreshing. New. Potentially good. I might see it. Eventually.

June 16, 2003

Marty brought over Lethal Weapon 2... ummm... so we watched it. Good stuff. I found out Kenton hasn't... or hadn't seen Battle Royale somehow, so I took care of that. Handgun vs. helicopter... isn't it obvious. Took Dr. Strangelove to work and watched it during my breaks. ...and though I hate to judge before the facts are in... it's beginning to look like General Ripper has exceeded his authority. TNN is now Spike TV. Perhaps a turn for the better. Who can say for certain. Not I. I have thus far downlaoded about three episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for research. Hooray.

June 15, 2003

Just caught a new line-up on Adult Swim. These were some of the funniest episodes I've seen. Sealab was awesome. I watched Back to School on Comedy Central earlier. Never been a huge fan of Dangerfields, so basically my favorite parts of the movie are Danny Elfman and Kurt Vonnegut. Elfman as himself, the leader of Oingo Boingo, in the party Dangerfeild throws, and Vonnegut as himself, the man Dangerfield hires to write his Vonnegut book report. The first scene of Lolita with Humbert Humbert and Peter Sellers is fricken hilarious.

June 14, 2003

Bought Old School for father's day. Good stuff. Can't wait for that I'm with Busey. Looks like quite a show. I must apologize for my review of Audition for I have been notified that there exists multiple versions of the film. Unfortunately, I happened upon the edited version. I'm interested in seeing the uncut version.

June 13, 2003

Friday the 13th! Dane Cook will be on Tough Crowd this week. Things I will not actually do, but plan on doing this weekend. Split this news section into seperate months. Post pictures. Post stories. Admit to my, as of yet, unmentioned wedding, and consequent divorce, to and from a quadriplegic woman one cold Vegas night.

June 12, 2003

Audition isn't bad. It's pretty obvious that the movie was written for the sole purpose of packaging a single scene, which happened to fall short of my expectations. I've never been a fan of implicative violence. I wanna see the needle go into the man's eyelids. I wanna see the wire rip through the man's ankles. A lot of people say it is more disturbing when you don't see it, but I disagree. For example, hundreds of people are being tortured right now. I know this. But it doesn't bother me as much as if I were in the line of sight. Still good though. The rest of the movie makes up for the final sequence. Not much else to say, I don't do much anymore. Having a job and all.

June 11, 2003

Watching Audition. Not bad so far. The coolest girl in the world is in it. Also got Punch-Drunk Love sitting here. An anonymous friend of mine has... connections. Audition makes good use of mise en scene. I hate all this friggen hyper-montage bullshit everyone seems to be using. Curse you Jonas Akerlund! Once I buy this movie and Kill Bill, I will have three movies with the coolest girl in the world.

June 10, 2003

Still haven't watched Audition. Due back any minute now. Um... yeah... seperate months for the news. Nope. talked more about TMNT possible synopses. Got a few good ones. Found a place fore Krang. Didn't watch any TV today. With good reason. That being the fact that nothing is on. Nothing that I won't regret having ever seen. I want to write a god damned animated show. You can do anything. I doubt TMNT will go anywhere because it's such a protected name, but we'll see. THQ hasn't called any of my friends yet. Dammit. Which results in them going (or almost going) to Magic Mountain without me. Friggity frack. Hoyo!

June 9, 2003

Watched Casino just now. Dammit thats a good one. Wrote more of the TMNT spinoff. My favorite line from Casino is this one... "You know... I think that you've gotten the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and walk in and see you, and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail - hopefully - you'll be comin' out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. Because I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Nicky (Joe Pesci). Haha! I hardly had to write anything today!

June 8, 2003

More discussion on Thirty-something Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not here, but more discussion took place. It is getting to be high-larious. But we can't seem to find Krang a position in this high-larity. Extreme Elimination Challenge or something along those lines is a great show. Its from Japan, but instead of hiring translators, the writers make up the dialogue. Genius. Probly goin to Santa Monica again next week. Hooray. I want to get that Arthur Nakane guy on Conan as a musical guest, but I couldn't find an address on his website. Damn.

June 7, 2003

Lots of great pictures coming soon. I have to see a documentary called Secret Asian Man. I met the guy it is based on today. He is awesome. Just watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze. Not only was it better funded, but the direction and acting are a lot better. I realize in recent weeks I have found myself praising the likes of Bill and Ted and TMNT 2, but it was actually pretty entertaining. They did a great job with the costumes. My friends and I are writing a movie called Thirtysomething Mutant Ninja Turtles. I will explain more later but so far it sounds hilarious. Maybe it will be a show. We haven't decided.

June 6, 2003

Terminator is on the Superstation. Bill Paxton is some punk kid with blue hair in the beginning. Classic Schwartzenegger. For some reason Paxton and company are a bunch of punks that want to mug a naked guy, but they are fighting over turns looking through a telescope. Deviants with an interest in astronomy. Santa Monica tomorrow, new pictures soon. I am gonna apply for the next Real World. Two of the Paris group are younger than me.

June 5, 2003

I keep rubbing that Sam Rockwell thing in Jon's face. Today we were watching the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, don't ask, and one of the kids really looked like Rockwell. So I kept saying "that's the guy from confessions of a dangerous mind," to piss him off, but then I looked it up. Sure enough the leader of the gang himself, Rockwell it was. Cowabunga.

June 4, 2003

Hopefully going to Santa Monica to take some more pictures, like the ones I still haven't posted here. I rented Audition at the suggestion of Mr. Eric Seguy, but have not watched it yet, and am uncertain if I should. Eric Seguy has a peculiar taste in films. So instead I watched all the episodes of Family Guy with commentary from the DVD set. Almost rented Boondock Saints, but the DVD wasn't in, and I'll be damned if I'm ever going to rent VHS again. If I do go to Santa Monica this weekend, I may start that interesting project that I referred to in an earlier post but have not discussed in detail. I will tell you all about it as soon as I'm sure it cannot fail.

June 3, 2003

Just got back from watchin' the first two hours of Band of Brothers. Jon thought Sam Rockwell was in it. I did not. He kept saying "that's the guy from confessions of a dangerous mind." According to internet movie database, I am the victor. I could be wrong, but the guy looked sorta different. So anyway... uhh. Yeah. Animatrix came out today, so that's on its way to my house. I have money again! Hooray! Jonsey and Dudditz from, worst movie of the year (according the Roeper), Dreamcatcher, both play considerably better parts in Band of Brothers.

June 2, 2003

Watched Caddyshack, or a lot of it. I animated some of that show. The pictures are drawn in flash, but I think I'm gonna move em to photoshop and then final cut pro so I can just make a downloadable file for this site. Who knows. Anyway. Got my THQ job back. Start tomorrow morning. Praise the lord. Went to Best Buy today. Figured out what dvd's I am gonna waste my newfound fortune on. Oh dear, it's all happening again!

June 1, 2003

Started writing a show yesterday. Either called Dumbasses or Stranded. Two guys shipwrecked on an island arguing about stupid pointless shit all the time. It is, as I have described to others, very long and very stupid/funny. Actually, I didn't tell them the funny part. That's the surprise. Don't tell the others. I drawing it in flash as we speak... well... as I type. Not necessarily as you read.

May 31, 2003

For my screenwriting final, we had the option of turning in our final with a self-addressed stamped envelope so we could get his comments back. For the most part it seems like he liked it. I think he could tell which parts I did the night before. We watched Bogus Journey at Jon's today. Haven't seen that movie in quite some time. I couldn't help but recognize the amazing set designs in the film's portrayal of Bill and Ted's personel hells. Please note that I am not being sarcastic. I realize the acting was horrible, the plot was retarded, and the special effects may even be outdated, but the set designs were really fricken good and the direction's pretty good too.

May 30, 2003

I almost watched Fear and Loathing, but ended up watching TV for quite some time. Saw a clip of this new show called I'm With Busey. From what I can tell, it's about some guy just hanging out with Gary Busey, which I actually think would be a good show. Busey is insane. Anyway. I scanned those pictures for the site, but they won't be up on the pictures area until tomorrow. In the mean time you can check them out at my xanga site.

May 29, 2003

Everyday I change my mind about whether or not I will get my THQ job back. Let's see which of me is right. Anyway. Got an A in screenwriting, which I'm sure comes as a surprise to any of you who've read my scripts. My brother is making a dvd of all of the movies he has made. I shall follow suit. If anyone is interested in this dvd which, more likely than not, will never come into existance, send me an e-mail. I'll get that other story up here this weekend... maybe.

May 28, 2003

Just watched the second half of the Transporter. Until today I had only seen the first half because the file I got on cd was corrupted in the middle. Normally I hate movies like that, but some movies, like Transporter and Lethal Weapon 4, make extremely good use of the surroundings in their fight sequences. Choreagraphers don't get enough credit. I'm lookin at you Woo-ping Yuen. I started another script this morning, which I should really stop doing. I am going to adlib my way through a plot. I just have characters right now. I don't know how it's going to end... or begin really. As you have probably discovered, the tale of the Bluebird Inn is not yet available, but I reiterate, soon. Tis all for this afterdusk... or... no... yes, afterdusk.

May 27, 2003

Adaptation finally came. Watched it again, good stuff. Remember a long time ago when I said I would divide this news page into seperate months? Good thing I did that huh? Otherwise it would take a really long time to load the page. I will post another story soon, again ripped directly from my former page. It is about the Bluebird Inn and the mysterious occurances therein. Also, I forgot to mention yesterday, I saw a seen from Ghost Ship that kicked ass. The thin wire snaps tight and slices about a hundred people standing on the deck in half. Leaving one lonely girl, too short to die, but just tall enough to catch the falling upper half of her grandpa's head. Actually, they didn't say it was her grandpa, but she was dancing with him, and I don't know why a little girl would dance with an old man if he wasn't her grandpa. So shut up.

May 26, 2003

Watched some Texas Chainsaw Massacre today. Somebody recommended I see Gruesome Twosome. Perchance I shall. Charlize (or however you spell it) Theron is an African-American. Many additional polls suggest that I am indeed Kawada Shogo. Check my other site for proof. I guess that's about it for today. Adaptation is still on its way here. Dammit.

May 25, 2003

Prior to finally seeing the Lost Boys, I had heard nothing but good things. Damn that movie sucked. I didn't think I could hate Corey Feldmen much more than I already did. He never ceases to amaze me. I found another Battle Royale test, which again claimed I was Kawada, so I guess I am. We also watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. So it was sort of Alex Winter day. Even though he only says one word in Lost Boys.

May 24, 2003

Saw Adaptation at a friend's today. Dammit I love that movie. The movie I really want to make and for whatever reason haven't made yet has changed its title. Formerly referred to as Ceiling Fan, it will now be called Spin Art, to avoid giving away the ending right away. I saw a movie this morning with Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, and Dan Akroyd called Nothing But Trouble. Its a pretty funny movie. The only one Akroyd ever directed. I guess it didn't perform well because he hasn't directed since and it was made in like '91. You would think I have more to say than this wouldn't you? Maybe not.

May 23, 2003

I may be able to buy dvd's and a tv this summer after all. Apparently my video game place is hiring again. I saw a pretty cool student film called Iced in my screenwriting class. It's reminescent of Jack Frost. The one with no batman in it... and a killer snowman. That one. I took a battle royale, which character are you poll and I am Kawada. That's fair I guess. Um... I'm tired. Got up early this morning. No movie news. Well, actually... Tim Burton is again thinking of helming the Willy Wonka remake. God, I hope that follows through. Originally there was talk of Marilyn Manson playing Willy Wonka. I can't imagine a better casting call. A lot of people don't like the idea, but if you go back and watch the original again, you realize that Willy was a rather evil guy. I think Marilyn would do a good job with the role... and Tim Burton can't screw it up unless Wahlberg signs on somehow. Please note that I am not insulting Burton. No one can direct Wahlberg, unless he is playing a horrible actor, which is why Paul Thomas Anderson didn't have too much trouble.

May 22, 2003

Gigantic approaches. June 20th, I will hopefully be seeing Gigantic, the TMBG movie, in LA somewhere. Hooray. Special guests to be announced. They might be They Might Be Giants! The might be frying up a stalk of wheat! We can only hope. If I ever get a TV show, these are the names of the first eleven seasons, Season 1: That Really Funny Show That Got Cancelled Halfway Through The First Season. Season 2: That Show That Underestimated The Channel's Sense Of Humor, But Was Deservingly Cancelled Somewhere In The Second Season. Season 3: That Show That Miraculously Made It Two And A Half Season Before Its Inevitable Cancellation. Season 4: The First Considerably Funny Show To Last Three Full Seasons And Part Of A Fourth Before Finally Offending Enough People To Get Itself Cancelled. Season 5: O.K. This Is Just Getting Ridiculous, I Could Have Sworn We'd Get Cancelled Last Season, Not This One. Season 6: We The Staff Are Bewildered As To Why This Show Is Still On The Air, Great, Now We've Jinxed It. Season 7: Why Do We Still Have So Many Viewers If We Keep Changing The Name Of The Show?. Season 8: Let Me Get This Straight, You Cancel Family Guy, And Leave Us On The Air, That Makes A Whole Big Bunch Of Sense. Season 9: What Are We At Now, Six? Seven? (hushed whispering) Nine!? You're Kidding Me, We've Been On The Air Nine Seasons? What The Hell? Season 10: If This Show Isn't Cancelled By The End Of This Season, Patrick O'Riley, Its Sole Creator, Is Threatening To Kill Himself, Do You Want That On Your Conscience? Season 11: BLAM! Let it be understood that the eleventh season, which, as seen above, is entitled BLAM! will consist of 13 half-hour shots of my body losing color and decomposing on a reclining chair. The blood stain on the wall behind me will slowly turn brown. On the series finale, a friend will call my house and leave a message asking if I actually killed myself or if it was just part of the show. Adaptation is on it's way, regardless of my current financial troubles. Also, in both One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and Man on the Moon, characters portrayed by, Christopher Lloyd, Danny DeVito, Vincent Schiavelli, Sydney Lassick, and well.. that's it. Apparently Milos Foreman likes to carry people over, I haven't checked on his other films, but at the moment, I don't have time. Thats it for the movie minute, once again I'm Zack, and I'm Ethan, and we'll take a large popcorn while you're up.

May 21, 2003

Well, since this news page is getting kind of long, I think I will seperate posts by month. Maybe this weekend. When I decided to make a movie called Macabre, my main reason was that Macabre is a cool sounding name for a horror movie. I looked up the title on internet movie database and only one other movie shares the title. At that point I was happy. I can make a movie and no one will say, there is already a movie called Macabre because the other one was some movie from the seventies that nobody will remember. Apparently, I was wrong. Scorcese is remaking the seventies Macabre and keeping the name. Dammit.

May 20, 2003

The first twenty pages of Outrage are due in my screenwriting class day after tomorrow. At that point I might actually upload some of it, and put it on the project list. As soon as school is out I will definately upload those pictures I keep referring too. I'm just kind of busy right now with finals. Two left. Adaptation is out on DVD. Alas, I can officially not afford it. If I had two more bucks in the bank right now, it would be on it's way to my house and I would be fined for not have enough money in my checking account, a practice which continues to bewilder me. My brother and his friend are writing a sitcom called Mikey O'Riley and Matt Nibecker at the Pizza Place... or something along those lines. The plots are all stale and the conflicts are hackneyed to shit, but it is a sort of parody of the Keenan and Kel show. At least that is how I recieved it. It parodies stupid sitcoms. Which really needs to be done more often. He talks about it some on his xanga site. That's it.

May 19, 2003

Not a lot to discuss today. Trying to finish studyin' for my Film Aesthetics class. Texas Chainsaw Massacre notes: The guy who played the 118-year-old man in the first movie was actually 18 years old. Mind-blowing eh? I also realized where my otherwise inexplicable hatred for Renee Zellweger was born... Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4. Her and Matthew McConaughey, who surprisingly enough I don't seem to hate, turned what was an awesome psychotic thriller series into a government conspiracy, the flavor of the decade as far as films were concerned. Inexcusable. Also, Columbia House is fricken retarded. You get your free movies, and then, every month until you fulfill your membership they send you the stupidest crap they have in their inventory. If you don't want it, you get to ship it back to them, and you get to pay the postage! Isn't that a fantastic method for extending the duration of their customer relationships? When I have my own company I will just mail my product to everyone in the country with a bill. Anyone who refuses to pay the shipping fees to return my product will only be assisting my rise to the seat of the richest man in the world. It's bulletproof.

May 18, 2003

Just watched Peggy Sue Got Married on Comedy Central. Pretty neat movie. Also, Jeff and I are going to write a sitcom... of some sort... perhaps. Notes: Lizzie MaGuire's Dad is Lewis Skolnik from Revenge of the Nerds. Today I noticed Allen Covert. He is the guy in The Wedding Singer who dressed up like Michael Jackson and Don Johnson. He is apparently in 13 of Adam Sandler's 15 movies. I noticed him as a cop in Airheads with about two lines. The Internet Movie Database had a poll today, Which actor were you shocked -- shocked! -- to discover was shorter than you thought (as in 5'7" or under)? Of the following choices, I selected Alan Cumming because I didn't realize he was a short guy. Then, out of curiousity I pulled up his biography on IMDB. He is five foot eight. Hence I am a genius and the poll is flawed, everyone else listed is shorter than five seven. Damn I'm good. My mom is a flight attendant. She had Orlando Bloom (Legolas from LOTR) and James Cameron on her last two flights. Apparently they were headed out to the Cannes Film Festival. I got Bloom's autograph sitting here in front of me. As I've mentioned in the past, (scroll down) his character is probably the coolest from those movies. Jon Stewart gets paid a mil and a half per season of The Daily Show. Not that he doesn't deserve at least that much, it's just surprising. I'm watching the movie Beaches right now, with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey. It doesn't make a lot of sense. These two girls who knew eachother for like an hour as kids are totally flipping out happy when they are reunited. It turns out they hate eachother but it is shot to make it look like some fantastic relationship is falling apart, but they might as well have hated eachother from the beginning. It makes no sense. I might start working at a theater pretty soon. Let's hope that happens. If I do get the job I'll start reviewing stuff on this site.

May 17, 2003

I found some funny Japanese commercials starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. They are here. Photos will go up soon. I scanned them, but the prints I made were on semigloss paper so they looked a little grainy. I had to mount each of the picture and to do that I had to heat them. The gloss flattened out when I heated them so I think if I rescan them they will look better. Saw Matrix again. Makes more sense.

May 16, 2003

I just noticed that if Ice Cube and Mark Whalberg direct movie written by Charlie Kaufman, then the entire cast of Three Kings will have directed Charlie Kaufman movies. Crazy eh?

May 15, 2003

Matrix is awesome, at least actionwise. The story is really confusing. I'm sure repeated viewing will make exactly what occured clearer to me. Photos soon. See how much shorter this is? No more bullshit thanks to the xanga site. Well, except this sentence... and the previous two.

May 14, 2003

Well, technically speaking, I'm finished with Photgraphy, but I can redo stuff for better grades. Reloaded tonight. Booyah! My Quadriplegic is up on the site now. I promise to put up outrage and chickenshit this weekend. I went back to check out the logos I made before and they sucked so I'm gonna redo them. Also, about the extra thing. I get a 30 day trial, so if I don't get work out of my membership in 20 days, I'm cancelling. The photos I turned in today earned me an A on the final, so I hope you'll enjoy them when I post them tomorrow as much as Professor Arimitsu did today. Just because my photo class is over, does not mean I am done taking or posting pictures. Hopefully I will be taking pictures in, you guessed it, Santa Monica this weekend. I have a project in mind but will wait until I am sure it is a success before even announcing my photographic plans. I got a few new lenses. One is like a fisheye, and the other is tele-photo, so I can finally zoom into stuff. BTW, I don't mean to offend any of you, but this site is starting to get crowded with non-movie talk so I will be posting only movie stuff or site stuff starting tomorrow. All of other crap will be found on this site. I resisted getting a xanga site, but, everybody else has one so I figured... what the hell... jackass.

May 13, 2003

Last night I scanned a bunch of pics that I will upload to this site this weekend. Tomorrow marks the last day for two of my five classes. Doesn't look like the extra thing I talked about yesterday is worth it. I'm gonna try and cancel my membership tomorrow. Check out my bro's Xanga site, pretty sweet. I'll add it to the links as soon as I turn unlazy. I found out long ago, and decided specifically not to inform you until now, that Chiaki Kuriyama, who played the part of Chigusa in Battle Royale, will be appearing in Quentin Tarantino's upcoming flick Kill Bill. Chiaki is one of, if not the coolest girl in the world. Looks like I'm on an updating streak. Tomorrow, or... well... yeah... tomorrow, I will add a new story, written a while back but posted on a different site about a man who kidnapped a quadriplegic man and is driving him through the desert in the trunk of his car. It's high-larious. My hair is getting way to long, but if I cut it before school is out everyone will be like "oh! you got a hair cut! blah blah blah" so I wait by the clock so I can get a haircut in solitude. Hoyo! I'm TIRED!!!! HOORAY!!!!!

May 12, 2003

I found a website where I can test my typing speed. It's pretty spiffy. Join my group to compare the speeds of all my site's visitors. The group name is "LT" and the keyword is "Ludovico". I used to work for a videogame company who paid abnormally well, but they are losing a lot of money and will probably not be hiring this summer. Consequently I am fucked, because after being paid to play videogames every job on earth sucks ass... dammit! School is almost out. College sucks. I saw Ed Wood and Breakfast of Champions yesterday. Good stuff. There should be a lot more movies based on Vonnegut stuff. Outrage, which (due to my frequently referenced laziness) still isn't on the projects list, is coming along slowly. I have about ten pages now. By the way, while writing this update, I was looking through monster.com for job and I found a position as an extra for movies. Most likely I am being ripped off, but I'm paying 98 bucks to be admitted into the database that is supposedly used to draw in extras for movies. The website claims a pay of up to 200-500 bucks a day, which I'm sure is a rarity, but even 100 a day is fine with me. I will update on this situation to let you know if there is any point in actually signing up for this. Now that I think about it, when they asked if I had any experience I should have mentioned my spot as an extra in Bring It On Again which may or may not have been cut anyway. But enough about me. How was your day?...

May 11, 2003

Hey, I went down to Santa Monica a week or two ago so I'll be uploading some pictures I took while I was there. I saw Italian Job last Friday it's not bad, with the exception of Mark Wahlberg, who I continue to believe is the worst male actor ever. He should marry Kim Basinger and they should have a bunch of kids that can't act their way out of paper bags. Seth Green and Jason Stratham saved this movie in my opinion. Got my tickets to Reloaded on Wednesday at 10. I had an invitation to an advanced screening of Freddy vs. Jason, but the screening was fully reserved before I recieved my invitation. Fortunately a friend of mine made it into the screening and I have been informed that the combatant I favored wins the duel anyway. If you would like to know who I favored, e-mail me.

April 22, 2003

Hoyo! Itsa me, Pat... io. This is my friends and I south parkified (from left to right, marty, jon, me, and jeff). I couldn't remember if Jeff still had a mustache but am relatively sure the last time I saw him it was just a goatee. I am DeLarge, join my mob. While you're at it, you might as well join Chris's gang. If you haven't had the chance of noticing through my wishlist link in the special section, I have ingeniusly adjusted my amazon.com wishlist to proclaim that I am none other than Justin Timberlake. Perhaps my dvd library will be multiplied. I would feel bad about ripping people off via the internet if I hadn't been the subject of such abuse so often. I like to call it "paying it backward." If someone pisses me off, then I can piss off three unrelated people, and so on. I realize this is a lousy excuse for an update, but you should be thankful considering your recent collective behaviors. Yes, you guys.

April 2, 2003

As I'm sure you've noticed, things have changed. A special section has been added to the site. It features an ersaphesque stories section, including some stories transcribed directly from ersaph. We also have links now, my dvd library, and a wishlist, in case anyone I know needs gift ideas. Or if people I don't know have sickeningly fallen madly in love with me, based solely on my writing voice, feel free to buy me stuff.

March 26, 2003

I have been invited to a screening of, what I'm pretty sure is Bruce Almighty tomorrow. The reason I don't know is because, unlike normal test screening sheets, this one doesn't have the movie's name. It just says, "A major Hollywood studio would like to invite you and a guest to a preview of a highly anticipated comedy starring one of America's most popular comedic actors." While this could also be translated to be Chris Rock's new film "head of state" minus the whole "highly anticipated" thing, I have been notified by insiders that this particular film is a Universal pictures thus, Bruce Almighty. This movie looks pretty funny but unfortunately the bigger the movie is, the less I am allowed to say about it so I probly won't be providing insider information for you. I designed the logos for chickenshit and outrage but am apparently to lazy to put them up tonight cuz I'm nOT DOING IT NOW! AM I? JACKASS!

March 24, 2003

I added photos that I've taken in my photo class in a new photo section. That's it. Sorry it's been so long. I will probably not start updatng really often unless important things are happening. Until then, the silence continues. I have two new screenplays I have started that will hopefully work their way into feature length as opposed to the many short films listed in the projects section. My first project, Outrage, is a mockumentary on the pointlessness of protest and its inherent tendancy to lead to irrational action. The second is called Chickenshit, and its about a guy who cannot confront anyone but really wants to form relationships, sort of Charlie Kaufmanesque. It is more specifically drawn from a line in Adaptation where Nicholas Cage, as Charlie Kaufman, is sitting in a car in front of his girlfriends house debating whether or not he will go to the door. The scene ends with Kaufman thinking "Why didn't I go in? I'm such a chicken. I'm such an idiot. I should've kissed her. I've blown it. I should just go and knock on her door right now and kiss her. It would be romantic. Something we could someday tell our kids. I'm gonna do that right now." And then he drives away. These projects will be on the list eventually.

February 12, 2003

I forgot to mention before that I saw a sneak preview of Old School. Good movie. I couldn't help but notice the presence of Daily Show alumni. Rob Cordry, Matt Walsh, and Craig Kilborne all appear in this high-larious film. Battle Royale 2 updates, director Kinji Fukasaku died during the making of the second film and his son/assistant director took over the project. The book on which the first film was based is due for release at the end of this month. Kitano's daughter Shiori in the first film (the girl who keeps calling and insulting him) is played by Noriko, (the female main character)'s older sister. I might be seeing the sequel in Japan this summer. I may not understand any of it, seeing as how subtitles would be unnecessary in Japan, but still that's pretty cool. Way back when the Air Bud series first started I predicted a football movie, tentatively titled Golden Receiver. Well the project has finally started only they thought Spikes Back was a better title. I think it's obvious they are wrong. Speaking of franchises that should have ended before the first one was made, Blair Witch 3 is set for release this year. WHY!!! By the way, my first feature film is due for release soon. Bring It On Again is guaranteed to arm your hearts and clense your souls. Available only on video. Be sure to catch my cameo as "Guy In The Far Background Half Talking On A Cell Phone Half Looking To See If The Camera Is Recording." I just got back from "Screener #2." This time no forms were signed so I feel obligated to enlighten you. The movie was called Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. It's pretty funny. When it comes out in October I recommend people see it. Dustin Diamond is the man. I will have more tomorrow. Or I will not post for a week. Either way, I win.

February 10, 2003

In case I didn't make it clear with my last post, I think Kaufman was taking a shot at the producer's of A Scanner Darkly for rejecting his script. New interesting things I have been made aware of time! According to a source I have since completely forgotten, Britney Spears will be playing the part of Bruce Willis's daughter in Die Hard 4. Not a good sign. Apparently she is kidnapped and Willis has to save her or something. I caught Being John Malkovich on Comedy Central last night. According to imdb.com the original script for BJM called for "Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head" by They Might Be Giants to play over the credits. While it may not have made it to the final draft, I would still like to point out yet another strange connection between my favorite movies and music. My plans to go to every cinematheque presentation have already fallen apart. I have been invited to another free screening of a movie, which will be referred to as "Screener #2," that is playing Wednesday night. Which means I will be missing Double Indemnity, Pushover, and Johnny Staccato episode "Evil". I don't know the name of the screening but apparently it stars Jon Lovitz, David Spade, and others. Every time I set myself down to write a script, I end up considering making a movie about how I can't think of anything to make a movie about. Then I worry that I'm taking the easy way out or that I am unintentionally immitating films like 8 1/2, The Player, or Adaptation. But then I get news that Aronofsky is making a movie about a frustrated film student who starts obsessing over some director from the 30's and I think to myself, "Dammit." Speaking of Aronofsky, apparently he's no longer doing the new Batman movie. I really wanna see a movie called Torque. Dane Cook is getting his biggest role yet. I'm a little concerned about the film involving biker gangs though. Hopefully it is making fun of biker movies, i.e. Biker Boyz and the yet to be release 2 Fast 2 Furious, but whatever. That's it for today.

February 4, 2003

I was at school most of today so I don't have much in the way of movie news. Charlie Kaufman, for a short time, was going to write a screenplay for a movie called A Scanner Darkly, based on the novel by Philip K. Dick but has since been replaced on the project. The plotline consists of a cop whose drug use breaks him into two personalities, the addict and the cop. The cop then proceeds to surveil the addict. For those of us who have seen Adaptation, you will recognized this plot vaguely as The Three by Donald Kaufman, wherein a detective, a killer, and a victim are split personalities of the same person. I guess that's it for today. Oh, Mark sent me his picture so he will be in the affiliates as of tomorrow's post. That's it.

February 3, 2003

I found the script to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," upcoming masterpiece written by Charlie Kaufman, set to star Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey. Good stuff. Dane Cook came in a close second in the Stand-up Showdown on Comedy Central yesterday. Stephen Lynch was the winner. I am a fan of Lynch's too but I don't think he is as funny as Cook. I was researching the voices of Clone High, a new MTV show that is actually pretty funny. All the voices on the show belong to either cast members of SNL, MadTV, or Scrubs. I found that interesting. The voice of Ghandi is Michael James McDonald of MadTV, aka the guy that gets run over by a steam roller in Austin Powers aka the guy that gets melted with a cappacino machine in Leprechaun 2. Speaking of voice research, any fans of Sealab 2021 will be delighted to learn that Bill Lobley, the voice of Jodene Sparks also does the voice of the container of butter in those retarded Parkay commercials. Apparently I linked the wrong preview for Battle Royale 2 in yesterday's post. The one I meant to post can be found here.

February 2, 2003

Hmmm. Uhh yeah. I guess I forgot I had a website for a while but I'm back now. My golden globe predictions were apparently really fuckin bad. More of my shoulds won than my woulds, which is a good thing. Whatever. The point is that I am back now. Just started my second semester this week. I saw an early screening of a movie starring Michael McKean but I signed a contract explicitly forbidding my mention of the film on a website I might happen to own. So I'm gonna wait until its in theaters or at least previewing to discuss it in full but until then it shall be known as "Screener #1". I finally got 8 1/2 on dvd yesterday. It's a great movie and reminds me a lot of Adaptation. The dream sequences kick ass. One of my film classes offers extra credit for attending classic film noir screenings at the on-campus cinematheque. A lot of the listed films are things I wanted to see like Kubrick's The Killing. I am going to try attending all of the screenings for this semester if possible. I'll talk about the movies I see on this site. Mark Nowrasteh should be added to the affiliates list as soon as a photo becomes available. I've been told a picture is on its way. Battle Royale 2 is set for release soon. I just found a preview of it yesterday. I rented Traffic, the Player, In The Bedroom, and Chinatown. All good stuff. In The Bedroom in the only one I haven't watched yet. I found out that my film class will be screening movies in the campus theater. One of the movies we will be analyzing is Adaptation which means I get to see it again in theaters! Hooray! I bought A Beautiful Mind, Casino, The Matrix, Shawshank Redemption, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory from Columbia House DVD club for 49 cents each. I'm probly gonna get screwed but at least I'll learn the system. For the last two days I have been watching Leprechaun movies at Jon's house. After some research I found out the the filming of the sixth installment in the Leprechaun series is underway, starring Warwick Davis as one would hope. It isn't a big step from the last film Leprechaun in the Hood, as it is tentatively titled Leprechaun Back in the Hood. Of course its hard to top the days of Leprechaun in Space or Leprechaun in Las Vegas. By the way I'm not joking. I have also been alerted to the lost film from the Leprechaun series. I also must mention that in Leprechaun Two, in a random bathroom scene, the words Andy Kaufman Lives have been written across the wall. I just thought that was neat. I gotta see this Old School movie, I'm watching the preview right now. Thats my long awaited update. More tomorrow I promise. Thanks for looking at the website despite my unexplained absence. I will be updating scripts and adding projects soon.

December 23, 2002

One more thing that was thought up on the ride home yesterday that I didn't mention was a movie called "Steve Says" where we would showcase every stupid argument we have ever had like what the hell is Grimace? Grimace is not a fucking milkshake Jeff. I don't know where you got the idea, but it's wrong. Anyway, onto todays events. Instead of doing nothing, as planned, I went to Lazer Star, a local laser tag arena, with Marty, Jeff, and Brian. Jeff and Brian's team beat us in the first mission, but Martin and I had our revenge in the second. Oh yeah, and laser tag sucks. The arena is way too small to play a decent game. Our score sheets will be put on the page in the next few days. I would've put them up today but I left them in my truck and I'm a lazy ass. Alex Nowrasteh of almost-every-movie-I've-ever-been-involved-in fame is back in town. Apparently he and Scott Sundvall of nothing-I've-mentioned-specifically-on-the-page-yet fame are working on a short film. Which has been summarized to me by Mark Nowrasteh as "sort of like American Beauty... but good." Whether this is an accurate portrayal of the script has yet to be seen. Alex and Scott have a history of abstract partnership projects including Catatonic Labotomized which featured Scott having a rather cryptic conversation with himself riding one of those rolling luggage racks in a hotel hallway and a paranoid Alex spying through a window on himself climbing a tree outside in a very ape-like fashion. Consequently, I have accomplished nothing over the course of today. Jeff said this page is going to turn into one of those "here's what I did today" pages, which it pretty much already is, short of the very few links and movie talk. But it is what I wanted it to be. On to the movie talk. I started the script for "An Unfortunate Episode." A finished draft will most likely be available before Christmas. It's only gonna be about five minutes long, if that. I discussed with Mark a possible opening sequence for macabre featuring creatures of the desert moving around in a ravine in the dead of night illuminated by the moon when what appears to be a flash flood rushes through the scene carrying all the creatures with it. The camera follows the source of the flood to the top of a nearby mountain where a furious battle has bodies stacked ten high and the blood floods down into the ravine. I worked very little on fridge. Practically not at all. Now for some research stuff. Golden Globe Prediction Time!!! I am going to say who should win and who will win golden globes. Best Motion Picture - Drama should be About Schmidt and will be Gangs of New York. Best Motion Picture - Comedy should be Adaptation and will be My Big Fat [Stupid Chick Flick]. Best Performance by an actor in a motion picture should and will be Jack Nicholson. I haven't seen anything under the Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama category but I am going to assume Juliane Moore should win and Salma Hayek will. Now is a tuffy, Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy, now I have to choose between Adam Sandler and Nicolas Cage for the should win. Hmmmm. I think I'm gonna go with Nic because he acted from two completely different emotional viewpoints convincingly. Either Nic or Adam will win. Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy should be Maggie Gyllenhaal will be Nia Vardalos. Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture should be a tie between Chris Cooper and John C. Reilly but will go to Ed Harris, but Cooper may have a chance. Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture should be Meryll Streep, but will be either Susan Sarandon or Kathy Bates. Best director should be Spike Jonze, technically Paul Thomas Anderson should have at least been nominated, Alexander Payne will take it, and for this category, I will add a should not win for Peter Jackson. The last category I will comment on is Best Screenplay which should go to Charlie Kaufman but will go to David Hare. I don't particularly hate Lord of the Rings, but it isn't anywhere near Adaptation. I don't care too much for network television so I am just gonna take the West Wing route. Anything West Wing should and probably will win. I gotta go Christmas shopping tomorrow.

December 22, 2002

Just got back from Adaptation and boy are my arms tired. I ended up seeing it in Santa Monica. Apparently my source that told me it wasn't playing there was incorrect. Or I read it wrong. Probably the latter. Regardless, it kicks ass. Plain and simple. Might go so far as to say better than BJM but the jury's still out on that. I'm getting kind of hungry. I think its peanut butter jelly time. An unfortunate episode is now an official project. On the way back from Santa Monica, Jon, Jeff, Mikey and I discussed the possibility of taking already well-established films and replacing many or all of the characters with McDonald's spokespeople. Imagine the Hamburgler screaming that whole Ezekial 25:17 speech into the face of an unsuspecting french fry kid. And it makes sense because he eats that Kahuna Burger... get it? I stole that scenario from the mind of Jeff. There was very little talk of a trip to Magic Mountain tomorrow, but it appears as though Christmas Eve will be filled with rollercoaster riding instead. I gotta return those movies tomorrow. Remind me. Tomorrow, if all plans as are go through, will be the first day in a while I haven't done anything, which could very well mean many page updates or at least script work. Sometimes I go on these little internet tangents researching stuff. An example of such follows. One of the previews before Adaptation was for a movie about Chuck Barris called "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind." While researching this film I found that Charlie Kaufman, "co"-screenwriter and main character of Adaptation also wrote "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" then I noticed that he is also writing a film called "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and thought thats weird that these two movies have such similar titles are written by the same person and are due for release in the same year. I figured the spotless mind would not be as well-known as dangerous mind because the director of spotless mind is Michel Gondry, the director of the relatively unknown "Human Nature" also written by Charlie Kaufman, whereas "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" is being directed by George Clooney. But then I notice the main characters of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" will be played by Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, and Kirsten Dunst. Jim Carrey is a guy who has brain surgery to forget his girlfriend but ends up fucking with his memories of everything. So both will probably be successful. Charlie is gonna be rich. I also noticed in the credits that one of the body doubles for Nicolas Cage was his brother Marc Coppola and I thought that was neat, because director Spike Jonze is married to their cousin Sofia. And that my friends is a crazy circle of craziness. P.S. there was a reference to Frederico Fellini or at least a Fellini in Adaptation. Donald Kaufman refers to him as the founder of the mockumentary.

December 21, 2002

Today I went to Long Beach and watched a boat parade with Jeff's family as I have every December for some time now. When I got home, I watched CQ and then watched it again with full-length commentary. Roman Coppola is a funny guy. His inspirations are fairly obvious throughout the course of the film. Anyone who has seen the trailer for Dr. Strangelove will recognize the trailer that Paul, played by Jeremy Davies, creates for the film Dragonfly. Anyone who hasn't seen the Dr. Strangelove trailer should buy the entire Kubrick collection and watch all the extras. I am actually pretty sure that the trailer for Dr. Strangelove is on the Monty Python and the Holy Grail DVD, or maybe Life of Brian. I not sure why either way. I have decided after hearing the commentary, to look into the works of Mario Bava and Federico Fellini. Both names I had heard before. For some reason I am thinking Mario Bava's works closely resembles Dario Argento's. Crazy Italian horror stuff. I just remember hearing their names together. I think it is because Amazon always pairs their films together. I like Argento, but Susperia isn't exactly my favorite horror movie. Then again, that's the only film of his I've seen so, what do I know? Fellini I don't really know too much about yet. The TMBG mailing list tells me that a deal has been made with Gigantic and it looks like its gonna get national theatrical release. Which means I will get to see it before Fall of '03 when the DVD is due out. Good. It's looking like tomorrow for Adaptation, but who knows. According to www.videoeta.com Punch-Drunk Love should be out on DVD in March, but an internet source can only be so accurate. Jeff and I further discussed making movies today. He seems to have his mind set on something revolving around a theater. I had an old idea about two guys camping out for Star Wars: Episode Four, not realizing it came out in the seventies. We might do something with that. I might add that to the list of projects later this week. If I do, I will call it "An Unfortunate Episode." We also might start a rough shoot of Fridge soon. If we do end up doing the Fridge shoot we will probably start somewhere around Friday, thus giving me time to watch the movies waiting under my tree. Jeff was a little upset after seeing the preview to Bruce Almighty before LOTR yesterday because the storyline closely resembles the storyline to "Heir" which he wrote. Now when we tell people about his idea they will say, "Oh, like in that Jim Carrey movie?" and we will say, "No, not like in that Jim Carrey movie." Not that we have anything specifically against Jim Carrey. Speaking of which, today, in a used CD store in Long Beach I saw two posters I would like very much to own. One of Andy Kaufman and one of Tony Clifton advertising www.andylives.org which appears quite barren to me but still holds promise that he will return. Again speaking of Jim Carrey, I want to make sure that everyone realizes the prequel to Dumb and Dumber, "When Harry Met Lloyd" will not star either Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels, nor will it be written by or directed by the Farrelly brothers. I can't say for certain that it isn't worth seeing, but I can definately assume so. I need to sleep.

December 20, 2002

I got a CD player put in my truck today. Sweeet. Jeff's home. He was showing me a demo of this PS2 game where you play as monsters from fifties horror flicks, like a giant electric eyeball and a giant gorilla. It's pretty nifty. Then we headed over to Jon's house for some Halo. Then off to the theater. No, we didn't see Adaptation. LOTR: the Two Towers. Not bad. Better than the first one. Golem kicks ass. When he smiles he looks like Audrey Tautou from Amelie. I still think Legolas is the coolest of them all. The dwarf guy keeps tripping on shit and the human guy keeps almost dying but Legolas never makes any mistakes. Marty, Jeff, and I got to the theater a little late and consequently we couldn't find three empty seats next to eachother. Lucklily we bumped into the founder of http://www.ersaph.com, Eric Seguy, and his cohorts. After a few people scooted over their was plenty of room for us all. Super Troopers is funny. Not as funny as I was lead to believe, but funny none the less. Still haven't watched CQ. I rented them all on Wednesday so I still have the weekend to watch it. They Might Be Giants had a 14 minute special on ABC at 12:05 AM. Good Stuff. They interviewed Dave Eggers, Michael McKean, Janeane Garofalo, Josh Kornbluth and all the greats. Hooray. I watched a short film called Spiral written by and starring Dane Cook. He's a funny guy. I am going to try and get him to play the part of Greg in Fridge. This will probably not work at all. The reason I think he would play the part well is because he is one of those guys that can say "Fuck" and make it hilarious. Check out the movie.

December 19, 2002

Guess what. I didn't see Adaptation yet. The theater in Santa Monica isn't playing it anymore. It's looking like I'm gonna see it Sunday in Santa Barbara. Today I practiced with my Tenacious D tribute band Tenacious Detour. Short stuff today because nothing happened. Big Trouble is funny.

December 18, 2002

According to www.ptanderson.com, Hard Eight, P.T. Anderson's first feature length film was supposed to be on Bravo at 8, but instead I was confronted with some stupid Christmas carroling special. Oh well. I guess I'll have to rent it. Speaking of renting, today I rented Super Troopers, CQ, and Big Trouble. CQ is supposed to be awesome. It is directed by Roman Coppola, son of Francis Ford Coppola, cousin of Nicholas Cage, cousin of Jason Schwartzman, brother-in-law of Spike Jonze, and I have been waiting for Big Trouble because I am a fan of Jason Lee's but didn't realize it was already out. I really don't have any excuse for renting Super Troopers except that people keep asking me if I've seen it and since I haven't they tell me all about it. Hopefully this will put an end to that. Still waiting for Punch-Drunk Love on DVD. The plan is now that I will see Adaptation tomorrow. Let's hope this plan follows through. Nothing added to the page today because I have been back and forth to the store and Blockbuster and the hospital and picking up my brother and playing mad Smash Bros. Perhaps tomorrow will be fruitful. Sorry I hardly have any links today, but I haven't been online to find any cool websites. Again... maybe tomorrow. I was just thinking that I might add a movie reviews section too. Hmm. And I still need to get that message board up and running.

December 17, 2002

They Might Be Giants made a movie. Gigantic: a tale of two Johns. I need to see this movie. I have been reading up on it today. My favorite writer, band, and director are all connected. Dave Eggers is in Gigantic and TMBG writes music for McSweeneys, and like I said before, it is very possible that Paul Thomas Anderson may direct the movie of Dave Eggers's book. Now TMBG needs to team up with P.T. on something. Maybe they could do the soundtrack to Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I added Jeff's bio to the affiliates list in the intro and I also added a new project to my list. He Could Be Another Lincoln is the story of a scarecrow who appears to have saved the President's life and subsequently takes the place of the entire cabinet. The crazy hijinx that ensue... I think that's how you spell hijinx... are... umm... crazy!... I'm probly wrong about hijinx. Fridge is coming along slowly. Chris Kuhlman from the cast of Party of Jive and the Pathetic Productions' Great Gatsby came home from UCLA Thursday. He was here last night and showed me www.realultimatepower.net. This is a site about ninjas. It is very entertaining. I am hoping to see Adaptation soon. The original plan was that I would see it tomorrow, but I have to take my dad to and from surgery and my friends are still in school. Plus I would have to drive an hour and a half out to Santa Monica. But I'm sure it's worth it for Spike Jonze. Jeff is back at Chico but he should be home Friday. I like this. I am going to put a bunch of links in my news more often. Dane Cook and George Lowe kick ass. If anyone should have been immortal, it was Andy Kaufman.

December 16, 2002

I have spent a while sitting and thinking. I added He Could Be Another Lincoln to the projects list. I added a lot to Fridge including a rather depressing final scene which may eventually be cut. I found a way to make it longer, but am running out of potential dialogue. I don't want to lead Greg and Scott into conversations that do not in some way refer back to the Fridge, but as anyone can assume this is difficult. I have been reading up on my favorite book "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" and the movie that is being made from it. As far as my research has taken me, a director has not been officially declared yet, but I really hope Paul Thomas Anderson takes this one. He is the only person that can direct this story the right way. Well... besides myself of course, but I'm sure that's out of the question. I was trying to write it out as a script in my head but I can't leave anything from the book out of the movie. If I wrote the screenplay it would practically be word for word from the book. The reason P.T. Anderson would be the best choice, is because I wouldn't be able to write this movie without a narrator, but Anderson can direct characters that you can read as a narration without a voiceover. In all of his films you know what everyone is thinking. Dammit. Why can't I do that?

December 7, 2002

A lot of the raw footage got taped over, the hard drive containing the fully rendered, edited film shorted out, but yesterday, I pieced together as many scraps of Wilkins Price Campaign HQ as I could find. the result of my efforts is available for download. It is about 300mb. The quality is still pretty horrible, but that is only to entice people to buy the DVD when it is released. Here is where it can be downloaded, enjoy.

December 5, 2002

After a week of silence I have returned. I apologize for the neglect but my Christmas Break just started today so I promise more frequent updates in the weeks to come. Jeff has e-mailed me a bio to post in the old movies section accompanied by an artists conception of himself to serve as his bio picture until an actual photograph is acquired. I have not uploaded it yet because I am lazy, but I plan to soon. I set up an account at www.triggerstreet.com and have been reading scripts for the past few days. If you have time to check this site out you should. My username on triggerstreet is "Ludovico Treatment" if you are interested in reading my reviews. At the moment I have only reviewed one short film and one screenplay, but I just finished reading a screenplay called Oddity and will probably review that one soon. For the last few days I have been working on Fridge. I have added a few more scenes, one in particular that explains how the two main characters actions at the end of the film lead to the death of a young boy in a red hat. My intent was to somehow stretch Fridge across 90 pages thus fulfilling the triggerstreet minimum page length for screenplay submissions, but by then the story would be so diluted it would defeat the purpose. I will most likely be rewriting The Big Promotion into something between 90 and 120 pages making it suitable for submission, but because the storyline is a lot more complicated, it is difficult to add to without causing continuity errors. Whatever. It's not the best story I have, and I don't really care who directs it. I want Fridge for myself. Because, like I said before, I am lazy, I have not gotten around to the Great Gatsby uploads or even Stop: The Movie. They will be up eventually. From now on, I am going to say "eventually" instead of "soon". Less pressure. As soon as I get Magnolia back from Kyle Beck, I am going to analyze it shot by shot to better understand Paul Thomas Anderson's genius. I have been dissecting Godfather: Part I and 2001: A Space Odyssey in this fashion and hope that some sort of directorial talent will rub off. I cannot wait for Punch-Drunk Love on DVD.

November 27, 2002

I was supposed to go to Magic Mountain today, but since I don't get home on Wednesdays until 1 and it closes at 6 so there was no point. So once again I am here to update this godforsaken page. Wilkins-Price Campaign HQ was added to the older movies section. This is the most fun to read about because it turned out to be our best video so far. So read up. Nothing much else was added today because the background for Wilkins-Price was longer than the backgrounds for all the other movies combined. Soon other cast members will be added and their commentary on each work will be added. I added two pictures of myself, one for the intro page and one for the biography page.

November 26, 2002

My truck broke down on the way to school today so here I am working on the site. It looks like I'm not going to be posting scipts, but I have decided to post the histories and continual updates of the projects I am currently writing. I changed "bio" in the menu to "intro" and moved it to the top of the side bar so that people would stop asking me what the page was supposed to be about. I eventually plan to expand the "intro" to provide a short biography on all of the Ludovico Treatment affiliates, but until a definate list of affiliates is compiled, the intro page will remain as barren as it is now. So far, my bio is the only one up on the intro, but many will be available soon. Also, many of my older movies were summarized and discussed at the bottom of my bio.

November 25, 2002

I was uploading the files wrong yesterday, but now things are actually falling into place. I started working on the individual project pages. I have included a synopsis and genre for each film so far, as well as the stage of the project's production I am currently in. I am still holding off on posting scripts because I am waiting for a response from another screenwriter on whether or not I can reserve my rights to these projects.

November 24, 2002

I have now added Tobe Hooper to my idols list after watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre again. I registered www.ludovicotreatment.com today and according to my service provider the site should be up and running by Tuesday. I started moving over the files from www.ersaph.com to here.

November 22, 2002

I collected all of my idols photographs from www.imdb.com and posted them in my idols section. All of the directors listed have influenced my style as a writer and director. I own most, or in some cases, all of their works and consider them to be classics. Tarantino would have made the list if a follow-up to Pulp Fiction had been made. Kill Bill may be exactly what Quentin needs to make the list, only time will tell. I am also fiddling with the idea of listing Tobe Hooper, but for now, the list is done.

November 21, 2002

I designed the individual project icons and started the news page. The other pages should all be up this weekend. Once I have www.ludovicotreatment.com registered, everything will be moved over there. I am not going to start uploading scripts until the dotcom is secured. At the moment, "Fridge" and "The Big Promotion" are under construction while "Heir" and "Macabre" are still in conceptual stages. Eventually I plan to set up a message board for suggestions and corrections to my many script revisions.